Struggle

Emotions are spinning out of control
the urge is too intense,
I can’t control it anymore
The pictures are so vivid in my mind,
It feels so real, I can touch them with my hands
I feel their breath on my skin
I am an addict – everything is spinning
I am losing control
I’m spinning out of control
I want it to stop, but I am an addict
I can’t go without it, any more

What is wrong with me
Nobody seems to understand
The internet is telling me, I am “right”
But what about the world
No one seems to know
I am an addict, spinning out of control
The urge is to must, I can’t control it anymore
My head is screaming stop,
but my body wants more My mind goes numb
my hands are trembling
The feeling makes me scream
My eyes tilt backwards in my head
The urge is gone, But only for a second
I need more, I am an addict in need of more
Blood rushes through my body,
I need more, the feeling isn’t going away
I am an addict, the urge, for the feeling
It’s blowing my mind, I am numb
My eyes rolled back in my head
My hands are trembling
The feelings subside
I want to cry, I want to scream
My life is spinning out of control