Anger was bursting within me I needed to control the anger inside of me I wanted to smash my heart within my chest So, I clenched my hand, preventing self-infliction pain But still, I did hurt myself I am angry with myself I harmed myself in pursuit of freedom I wanted to understand what was wrong with me Yet, instead, I struck my heart with force But it failed to take the pain away Now I strive to resolve my deep-seated pain I haven’t let it go; it remains within me I think about jumping off the roof Not to end my life, but to escape the intense inner pain Help me dig deep and free myself, from all the pain that lives inside of me
Welcome to my odyssey through Complex PTSD.
It started unexpectedly on August 9th, 2021, during a challenging 12 km hike.
The morning was calm, the air crisp, and our spirits high as we set off.
Eager and ecstatically happy, we embarked on this unforeseen difficult adventure.
However, merely five hundred meters in, I found myself falling behind.
Determined to catch up, I quickened my pace, glancing at my watch.
And then... a tree materialized before me, greeting me with a terrible greeting.
From that moment, everything shifted... thus marking the start of my life-changing journey into the world of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
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CPTSD Crash 