Unbelievably
Why should I cry for help
When the pain is so
unbelievably intense and deep?
I can’t see the light
My heart is screaming out
I despise my past
And I hate what I have done
I desired to be better
But better isn’t for me
All this messed-up stuff is hurting me
Not just the pain of my identity
But all the crap that has happened to me
I am furious at the world for causing me pain
Yet, I can’t escape and travel to space
Space has no place for me
All I can do is float around
So, I remain on Earth,
hoping the pain will fade away
Even the grave doesn’t want me there
The quicksand refuses to take me in
I am buried in so much pain
My heart feels like it will shatter into a thousand pieces
No one can fix me anymore
I am lost in the black hole within myself
No escape, no return, no answers,
only unbelievably intense pain
CPTSD Crash 