Chang in direction

ComplexPTSD Crash

Drifting off

I try to find the center
The center of my core inside of me
But I am drifting off
Drifting off in a direction
I don’t want to go
Help me come back
Don’t leave me here
It’s a scary place to be
Help me,
I can’t control myself
I want to escape
the feeling of drifting away
There is a force inside of me
Like thunder in a storm
I want to let it burst out of me
But I’m so scared
What will you think of me?
I tremble, and I fall
This urge in me
it’s going to make me fall
Help me control the feelings inside of me
I want to scream
like a madman on the street
But I can’t get it out
My fear is keeping me bound
Help me see that I can be free
from this fear inside of me
The black hole is pulling me in
I can’t let it out,
it doesn’t want to let go
I am afraid of what might come out
Help me see the light

Unknown's avatar

Published by ComplexPTSD Crash

Welcome to my odyssey through Complex PTSD. It started unexpectedly on August 9th, 2021, during a challenging 12 km hike. The morning was calm, the air crisp, and our spirits high as we set off. Eager and ecstatically happy, we embarked on this unforeseen difficult adventure. However, merely five hundred meters in, I found myself falling behind. Determined to catch up, I quickened my pace, glancing at my watch. And then... a tree materialized before me, greeting me with a terrible greeting. From that moment, everything shifted... thus marking the start of my life-changing journey into the world of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

2 thoughts on “Chang in direction”

  1. I found an extremely helpful site on YouTube regarding CPTSD. If you are looking for help in learning to heal dysregulation and all of its symptoms, search for Crappy Childhood Fairy. There are multiple podcasts covering many different issues which may be of help to you. May God be with you on your journey of healing❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

Leave a comment